loony blurbs yet again lol

Loony Blurbs is a feature home-grown by yours truly, where I take book titles and make up ridiculous blurbs based on them.

I think after this month I’m going to make it a link-up again, but we’ll see what with starting university and everything.

ANYWAY so I’ve gone with 2016 releases again, because they’re just that exciting. I hope you enjoy!

Floral_background_summerTHIS SAVAGE SONG by Victoria Schwab // Goodreads

this savage song

Victoria “Indiana” Jones is on a mission. If she is to reunite the Kingdom of Mélomane, she must find the four Songs spread out across the land.

The Contentment Song, the Elusive Song, the Pandora Song, and the Savage Song.

But the get the Savage Song, she has to go through the land of the fairies. And they’re not quite as fair as people thing.

HEARTLESS by Marissa Meyer // Goodreads Floral_background_summer

heartless marissa meyer

Marissa does not have a heart. That’s not just what people say to describe the fact that she’s a raging bitch – she really doesn’t have a heart.

And to find one, she’ll gather an unlikely band of followers to find the Wizard of Wonderland who has what they need.

Except she might die along the way.

Because, you know, she doesn’t have a heart.

Floral_background_summerBEAUTIFUL BROKEN THINGS by Sara Bernard // Goodreads

beautiful broken things coverIt’s called the River Styx in some legends. In reality, it’s called Délabré, and it’s full of the beautiful, broken things that make up humanity.

There are forgotten memories.

There are words that have died on lips.

There are stories and there are hopes and there are dreams, and when Sara comes to Délabré to find a will to live for her brother, she has no idea what she’ll instead discover.


IF THE MAGIC FITS by Susan Maupin Schmid // Goodreads 


if the magic fits

Susan thought that this year it would finally fit – that her mother’s hand-me-down witch’s cloak would miraculously be snug around her, and that she could go to the Academy.

But the cloak is just too big. Everyone knows that if a cloak doesn’t fit you, you have to wear magic overalls instead, and that is just not acceptable in this day and age.


STEALING SNOW by Danielle Paige // Goodreads

stealing snow

Every winter, Danielle waits by the windowsill for the first snowfall. Then when it falls in tufts to the ground, silent, she gets her Snow Jar, and she fills it to the stop with snow.

And she puts the jar in the freezer, with all the rest, frowning because there’s not much room left.

And she wonders if there will ever be a winter where she does not think about the polar bear, and the witch, and the adventures in the Snow lands.

LOTTERY BOY by Michael Byrne // Goodreads

Floral_background_summerlottery boy

On the 7th June, Michaela wins a boy in the lottery. As you do. It’s simple: she gets to do whatever she wants with him, and he has to comply.

She sends him to spy on her dad – she thinks he might be cheating on mum.

Imagine her surprise when he reports back that her dad is actually an exotic dancer on Friday nights.

And that’s it for this month’s Loony Blurbs! Which ones would you read? OH and do you ever find yourself making up stories based on book titles?